Couldn’t Love Anything More

As I spend my last days with Cora as my only child, I am left in total panic. I love her so much, how could I love another? Then I freak out, what if I love Baby Sister more? It feels impossible to love more than one child at the same time, the way I lover her. My Mother said, when she was pregnant with my younger sister, my Father’s Mom gave her some true advise. She comforted my Mom by telling her that her heart would grow. Like expanding a house, the heart will add a new space for the new baby. In a few months I will know for myself, and I will just keep picturing the Grinch’s heart growing three sizes Christmas Day.

Both girls will (most likely) have December birthdays. They are 2 years apart. Already I am stressing out about the hand-me downs and the expectations/comparisons of Sister to her older sis Cora. I want both girls to always feel individual. When Cora was born, I gave her all my keepsakes. I was so overjoyed to have her in my world I didn’t stop to think if there would be another little girl in my future. Luckily she is too young to realize I will take some back for Sister. As the oldest sister in my family, I was given a hard time by both my younger siblings. They never claimed my parents thought of me as a favorite, but there were family members that seamed to have a stronger connection to me. It is important to me to ensure both girls are felt loved equally and individually. One of the most exciting parts of having a second girl is to see how she will be alike and different from the first.

Jealousy is a common issue for the first child when the second enters the home. My Husband and I are committed to making sure we take some one-on-one time with Cora so she doesn’t feel loved any less. We put her in day care/preschool part-time a few months ago to give her a special place to go that is all hers. She will have her little buddies, and get all her wiggles out while I’m home attached to the newborn. We have been practicing with dollies so she can take care of her baby while I take care of mine. We have a few books about big sisters. I wanted to have the kids close in age so they would grow together and hopefully be close. The age difference will be great in the future, but it is proving difficult to explain a new baby to a toddler. I can imagine it won’t be much easier when the baby is born.

Great advise aside, these worry me daily. I try to remind myself that I had no comprehension of how much I would love Cora once she was born. Needless to say the outcome was mind blowing! These types of loves cannot be described in words in any language. Parenthood has been, and will continue, to be the most wonderfully difficult adventure in life. Once these worries fade, new worries will present themselves. Around and around we go….