As women, moms, and working professionals we struggle with putting ourselves first. Most of us roll out of bed already thinking about the to-do list. When bedtime rolls around, instead of counting sheep we are lying there creating a new to-do list. We carry over everything we didn’t get to today and add all the new things for tomorrow. The juggle is real! Always trying to find time to fit another task in. While dinner simmers, we change the laundry. While the kids are getting their pj’s on we’re vacuuming the living room. We can multitask so many balls in the air we might as well be circus clowns. I’d rather be the girl with the parasol on the tightrope but that’s an analogy for another day.
We don’t make anything involving time for ourselves a priority. Finding time to shower can some days be a challenge in itself. Call me crazy but showers are pretty high on the priority list. I’m here to tell you, YOU should be a TOP priority. You think I’m selfish? The truth is, I’m proud to say I take time for myself and make myself a priority. When I take care of myself I’m a better, happier, more patient person. It’s so important that I am the very best version of me, so I can support those I care for, in being the best version of themselves. Lead by example. How am I supposed to teach my daughters to be independent women if I never look like I’ve got it all together? Say goodbye to the days of commiserating as unkempt mamas. If you don’t show your family, friends, husband, and children that you respect yourself, why would they respect you? We work so hard to take care of our families. When they look at you, they should smile, not take pity.
No more hot mess mama!
Start small. There is no need to jump in and make drastic changes to the schedule and routine of the family. Find 20-30 minutes to start a week for a special indulgence. Find 20-30 minutes a day to add something just for you to the routine. I shower at night and get up a little earlier than my kiddos and hubby each morning to put on my makeup every day. I was a makeup artist for 10+ years and it’s part of myself I didn’t want to lose as a mom. If the kids wake up while I’m still getting ready my husband gets them up and feeds them breakfast.
What makes you happy? Doing my makeup makes me happy. It makes me feel like a woman. It makes me feel confident. It allows me a creative outlet every day. Do you like to read, cook, craft, do yoga, watch the sunset? How do you relax? A nice cup of tea? A facial? Meditation? Choose something impactful to you. Something that will give you spunk and energy to enjoy the other tasks the day ahead holds.
What can you delegate? I know there is one small task that you can have hubby or kids do. Or there is a task you can let sit an extra day so you get your time. When you delegate you are not only allowing yourself the time you need, you are showing your family how valued you are. They start to see how much you do to keep their ship afloat and they will respect you more and be more prepared for adulthood responsibilities. When you feel better about yourself, you are in a better mood. Maybe your better mood will get you in the mood for hubby.
Team up with other moms. Money for sitters isn’t always an option. If you have small children you can’t really delegate chores. I found a MOMs club to join and I traded off with other moms. I would babysit for them for 2-3 hours, and another day they would return the favor. This allowed me a haircut or a trip to the grocery store alone and a coffee by the beach to decompress. It was nice to watch their kids too, my kids had buddies to keep them occupied!
Find the local open organizations for child care. We have local churches that offer Moms mornings out, and Athletic clubs and Kids Gyms are always offering afternoon kid camps and parents night out for date night. Take advantage! Most of them don’t require you to be a member to take advantage of the service.
Make it a priority. If it’s a priority it will get done. No more excuses. No more excuses of why you don’t have time. No more excuses of why you just can’t get a break! Show your family you are worth being a priority! Be the best mom and wife you can be by being a force of happiness and calm because you’ve treated yourself to some me-time.
Schedule it. Put those special indulgences on the calendar. Before you leave the massage, make an appointment for the next one. Make it routine. Make it a ZERO EXCEPTIONS unless it’s an emergency. Of course, there will be occasions you alter your routine for an exception, but you have full control over what those are. Only missing your me-time for something really important to you will show your family how important it is you don’t miss this event because you were willing to make the time. They will learn to appreciate your time more.
Be proud you take time for yourself. It tells the people in your life that you value yourself and they should too. It empowers you to do great things, not just be the mom. Your time and efforts will be more appreciated. You will feel like your own person and not feel like a slave to the household to-do list. When you lay down to make that to-do list tonight put something for you at number 1!
Share what makes you happy and how you relax in the comments below. Pin this so your mom friends can take care of themselves too!
25 Real Life Ways to Treat Yourself
- Read a book or magazine
- Buy yourself flower
- Go on a walk
- Watch the sunset
- Watch your favorite Rom-Com
- Listen to some light music
- Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while
- Make a crafted cup of coffee or tea
- Give yourself a massage
- Take a bath or long shower
- Meditate or pray
- Paint your nails
- Color, paint or sodoku
- Knit, scrapbook or craft
- Cloud watch or stare at the stars
- Go for a drive
- Feed the ducks or fish at a local park
- Go to a free museum
- Open a “good” bottle of wine
- Order take out and plate it nicely for a candle lit dinner
- Get cozy by the fireplace
- Wear a nice perfume (you can get FREE samples)