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By Chelsea on Saturday, May 6, 2017

Because motherhood is hard, and you deserve it!

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Chelsea Padgett
20 years. I remember every moment of that day. One 20 years. I remember every moment of that day. One month later I would move there to be with my now husband, who was already there. One of the first places we visited in the city was ground zero. I still can’t speak about it today without crying. My body and soul won’t let me forget the energy of that time and space. I don’t think I want it to… It’s still so vivid in my mind, the pictures of the missing, the art children made for the loved ones they lost, people’s possessions laying all over in respect for their life, taken too soon. Today, I send love to us all. We were all impacted in some way 20 years ago today. I say a blessing for those taken & for those that they were taken from. Image @hnicholsillustration
It’s suicide awareness month. In this lifetime I It’s suicide awareness month. In this lifetime I’ve intervened in 2 lives contemplating/attempting suicide. In my sophomore year I was the only one to react to a friend who vocalized a threat. It made me the bad guy. I carried that honor because my very best friend was still alive. Our friendship didn’t survive much longer but she did. The second time was during a more violent display in my workplace. I was one of 2 people who, in the moment, were able to be calm and collected to prevent serious injury. . I’ve had thoughts of suicide myself in my teen years. I remember sobbing, barely able to breathe, not understanding the point. Why God would choose this for me? I see the bigger existence now. Every day I’m so grateful I was more afraid of death than the pain of life. So, fucking, grateful it didn’t turn into ideation. I feel immense gratitude that these feelings of desperation didn’t return when I struggled with PPD and PPA. The highest risk of suicide is 9 - 12 months postpartum. I’m no expert on suicide, but what I do know, when someone is at their breaking point they aren’t looking for attention, they are looking for help. They need help badly. Listen to them. If they get mad or offended, who cares!? They are still alive and getting the help they needed, even if they couldn’t admit it in the moment. I have also seen what the loss of someone special to suicide can do to those who were closest. It leaves a big wake. So many unanswered questions. Guilt. Shame. Heartbreak. We must really listen to each other’s pain. We must hold space for people’s emotions. We must practice feeling our feelings to be able to allow others to express freely without our triggers and ego preventing hearing what they’re really saying… @suicidepreventionhotline 800.273.8255
The inner war for my mind’s freedom is still str The inner war for my mind’s freedom is still strong. While I have learned so many tools to practice for my healing that I didn’t have a year ago it’s still a daily tug and pull. I know I need to let me be me, but the Ego is so strong. I started sharing here with intent of expressing the love of my creative passion of fashion and beauty when I entered motherhood almost 8 years ago. I wanted to inspire other moms to feel good, even just a little, when they are struggling navigating new motherhood like I was. Soon after I started this account my Ego took over. My need to feel seen and validated became a quest for followers, likes, and money. That gave my Ego a desire to be popular. I’ve never been popular before and it’s always looked awesome. I was sharing things I knew moms needed and truly had budget and mind-space for instead of the things I really loved. I wanted to give my audience what they needed and would copy what the other girls were doing. I forgot about myself. This is MY creative outlet. . Then the miscarriage came. PPA and PPD took over my mind and body so all I had left was my broken soul. I didn’t realize I could be suffering from these after a miscarriage and it wasn’t until I got pregnant with Bruce, it all became so clear. The anger, frustration, sensitivity to everyone and everything came into focus. Trauma I had protected myself from for so long bubbled to the surface. It was impossible to look away again. It’s no way to live. . I’ve learned so much about myself while so much still remains a mystery. The struggle of knowing how to continue with my creative outlet I love so much still lives in my head every day. The fear my Ego will take over again. I’ll be back to posting and sharing what my heart is called to share, not what I think you want to see. I’ll be revealing every vulnerability while still reminding you how incredibly powerful you are too. I’ll be making an effort to leave ego at the door to truly enjoy this community and expression of self as I originally intended. . I’ll be revealing layer, by layer, the authentic me. The woman I am and the message that is my purpose. We’ll get to know her and grow to love her together.
It’s #pumpkinspicelatte Day!!!! I count down to It’s #pumpkinspicelatte Day!!!! I count down to this day every year. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of coffee, but it warms from me from the inside out. I can call in all kinds of blessings as I enjoy a PSL with intention. If you’re joining me in this indulgence this season, pick at least one property from each to call into your day with each sip… PUMPKIN 🧡✨ prosperity growth fertility creativity vitality divination COFFEE ☕️✨ grounding happiness energy divination luck romance CHEERS ☕️☕️
Bubbles with Brucey… we blessed every one of the Bubbles with Brucey… we blessed every one of these bubbles with love, and the joy and whimsy Bruce gets from their magic. Hope you can feel it in the air around you…✨ . . . #believeinmagic #mindfulmama #mysticmama
It’s all a blur… How many emotions is a person It’s all a blur… How many emotions is a person able to experience at once? I’ve got them all today, it seems. The girls first day of school is today. I’m so excited, sad, heartbroken, proud, joyful, and so much more I’m not even sure I can identify. I know how much fun they’ll have. I know they’ll thrive. As hard as the last year of homeschooling was, I will miss it. I will miss sharing their experiences but will love hearing them tell me all about their day at pickup. This week Bruce and I will have to find our new groove. A little one-on-one time with baby boy is definitely something I’m looking forward to. Sending all the mamas who had to watch their babies grow up in a split second today SO much love! . . #mymamahood #realmomlife
“Her smile is the simplest miracle she can creat “Her smile is the simplest miracle she can create any time”. Making magic with these girls every day✨ Our day to day is going to shift in a big way when they go back to school. So much gratitude that I had this time with them. . Quote by Tara Estacaan #mysticmama #makingmagic #magickallife #acupofmotherhood #mymamahood #lifeofamom #realmomlife #joysofmotherhood #livesimple #manifestmagic
Tell me you’re a boy mama, without telling me yo Tell me you’re a boy mama, without telling me you’re a boy mama… “KACHOW”🏎⚡️Bruce always has his cars. @e.padgett kept his Hot Wheels from when he was little and it’s all Bruce does. It’s so sweet, just like Daddy! Also like uncle… one of the best memories I have of my youngest bro, is his cars. He had a small, blue, duffel bag FULL of @hotwheelsofficial he never left the house without. He smelled like metal! I’ve given hot wheels at every toy drive my entire adult life. Vroom, vroom💨 You’re turn boy mamas… #boymomlife #momofaboy #mommyslittleman
Do you have a favorite experience from this summer Do you have a favorite experience from this summer? Mine will be this short hike in Garden of the Gods with my crew. Stunning. We took a long weekend excursion in Colorado Springs. Can’t wait to go back and explore more trails through this incredibly beautiful spot. Having these kinds of adventures in our backyard is one of the reasons we chose to raise the kids in the mountains. Connection with Mama Nature is such an important part of wellness, spirituality, and empathy. Something I really didn’t appreciate in my adolescence that I hope to inspire in my children. . . . @gardenofthegodspark #playoutside #kidsthathike #adventureswithkids #gardenofthegods #gardenofthegodscolorado
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